Monday, July 13, 2009

Janet Napolitano And The President Review Their Colors...In The Terror Alert System

Once in a while even I love to have fun at Washington's expense. Imagine having only five colors to work with and our Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano, finding a need to appoint a panel of "reevaluators" to determine whether to alter or eliminate the current five-tiered terror alert system, that was put in place after 9-11. Jeff Foxworthy's show...ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER?...comes to mind. I have two candidates to suggest for panel positions. I would like to offer my services because I like to color with my grandchildren and have mastered the eight-pack Crayola choice chart. The original system starts with GREEN...which means GO!... at the lowest end of the spectrum and signals to GO about your business because there is a low attack probability. Let's keep that one! RED, that's the highest one, means STOP! Stop your cavalier wanderings and be painfully aware of your surroundings and suspicious individuals. Let's keep that one too! Now, the panel only has to find three more colors to code. Okay...I'll work for free! The middle color should be YELLOW. After all, YELLOW is in the middle of a traffic light and it means caution. Every kindergarten student knows that one, so there should be no confusion up to this point. YELLOW should mean caution...the alert climate could turn at any time, but you have time to prepare to advance with your daily plans or to retreat to a safer area. Now...there are two more colors to pick! In school...that would be elementary school...I was taught how to mix the three primary colors to create secondary ones. Let's mix YELLOW with RED to make ORANGE and sandwich it between YELLOW and RED. ORANGE should be right under RED and just above YELLOW in the color chart (and national intensity). That leaves one more for the panel! Isn't it embarrassing that a senior U.S. official had to issue a statement that the Obama administration would review the nation's multicolored terror alert system. That's like Michelle Obama announcing that she is picking new bathroom wallpaper. Maybe one of the President's children should have mentioned it while walking the dog. Where was I? Oh, yes...the final color...the one perched between YELLOW and GREEN. Are you ready? Get rid of it! I know, Janet, I know...I love BLUE also, but it is serving no purpose. Let's think GREEN-YELLOW-ORANGE-RED which equates to LOW-ELEVATED-HIGH-SERVERE. Hopefully, you will call off the panel search now and get back to real problems while saving the taxpayers the expense you would have incurred. the way...I almost forgot to mention my other panel member choice. It was BIG BIRD!

Note: Sometimes men can talk much about little...and do little about much.

May GOD bless America...and may America deserve it!
Zanne Booker 7-13-09